


HoloNet Angst

by Theyna_Shipper



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A little humour, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Babies, F/M, Fluff, Jealousy, Let's All Just Forget About TROS, Medium Angst, Misplaced jealousy, Post-TLJ, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:22:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24576001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theyna_Shipper/pseuds/Theyna_Shipper
Summary: When a video of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren comforting a crying baby goes viral on the HoloNet, Leia finds Rey watching it on a loop in her room.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 90
Kudos: 292





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a Soft™ oneshot for y'all because apparently I, a lesbian teenager, am obsessed with kid fics right now. Please enjoy!

_The Supreme Leader’s speech about the closing of the Stormtrooper academies is suddenly punctuated by the cries of an infant. He pauses for a moment, before continuing the speech. But the baby is persistent, and soon makes itself heard again._

_All eyes, including the camera, turn to the source of the disturbance. It is a young First Order mechanic and her infant son, in the audience, the mother frantically trying to calm the angry child._

_The camera pans back to the Supreme Leader, who calmly approaches the pair. He leans close to the terrified women. “May I?”_

_She nods frantically, and he takes the baby into his arms, holding the child against his shoulder in a way that seems natural and effortless. The baby quickly stops crying and falls asleep against the man’s shoulder, and the Supreme Leader continues his speech, without putting the tired infant down._

_The video cuts to a reporter, commenting on the scene. “Cute and coincidental, yes, but the gesture broadcasts a strong message: this is no longer Snoke’s Ord-”_

Rey pauses the video after watching it for the tenth time that day. She just can’t stop thinking about how _perfect_ and how _natural_ it looked for him to be holding a baby, and wondering how he knew how to quiet a baby, and carry it around. And dammit, she feels a little _jealous_ of the random First Order woman who got to have Ben take care of her baby. It’s stupid, really, because he just wanted to get on with his goddamn speech and media event (which isn’t bad in principle, he is changing the Order for the better and putting peace on the horizon) and definitely didn’t expect Rey to be sitting in her chambers watching the HoloNet coverage on a loop and feeling all _jealous_ and _emotional_ about it. 

And she’s a little embarrassed that it’s him with a _baby_ that’s sending all her thoughts spiraling out of control like this. Rey loves babies; a few women on base have had babies since she joined the Resistance, and occasionally they’ll briefly be in the care of an orphan, until a permanent home can be found. Few of the babies born on Jakku survived their first year, so Rey finds the healthy, wriggly children adorable and fascinating. She can’t pretend she wouldn’t want one of her own someday, but that’s a long ways off. 

Which brings her back to why she is having a breakdown over Ben carrying a total stranger’s baby. Are her convoluted feelings for him really this deep? Apparently so. 

Because there was definitely _something_ between them, once upon a time. She thinks of the electric spark between their fingers when they first touch, and wonders what could have happened if they’d been left alone.

And the air after their fight in the throne room had been _charged_. Rey had been very close to joining him, to standing by his side and changing the galaxy. 

But she didn’t, and now she’s reduced to daydreaming about babies and definitely not thinking about how sweet he would be with them and whether their babies would be pretty (of course they would, especially with his hair). 

She is about to rewind the video to the beginning, and watch it for the eleventh time today, when someone pushes open her door. 

Rey slams the datapad onto her table. “General Organa,” she sputters, standing up. 

“At ease,” Leia replies, letting Rey settle back into her chair, her face burning guiltily. “What are you doing?”

“Oh! Um-” There’s no use in lying to Leia. She will sense Rey’s discomfort and wheedle the truth out of her sooner or later. “Have you seen this video going around the HoloNet?”

“Which one?”

“Of-” _Don’t make me say it._ “Ben.” 

Leia purses her lips tightly. “No, I haven’t.”

“You should,” Rey says. It’s true. More than being a personal pseudo-obsession, it says a lot about the Supreme leader, and will probably mean even more to Leia. 

She presses play on the datapad, and carefully monitors Leia’s reaction. It occurs to her the significance this might have to the older woman: had Leia ever dreamed of having grandchildren? Rey knows that the old Jedi order forbade attachments- no marriage, no children- but nothing about how Ben had been trained. The expression of longing on Leia’s face makes Rey wonder. 

“That could have been us,” Rey remarks to herself, only half paying attention to her surroundings. She could be his queen, his wife, his anything and his everything. She’s never wanted that more than right now. 

Leia knows about the connection Rey shares with Ben. She had to tell _someone_ , and the General was the only person who wouldn’t judge her for her feelings. “That still could, someday,” she says. “If you really want it- he could still come to you.”

Rey sighs. “I want it more than anything else.” It’s a guilty admission: she wants Ben more than she wants plenty of things she should want. A Resistance victory, to complete her training as a Jedi- all of it pales in comparison to the idea of spending a peaceful day with Ben. 

_And the baby._ Her mind keeps wandering back to the baby. She’s projected her own dreams onto that poor, random baby. She is getting ahead of herself, she knows, but there’s no harm in dreaming. 

“Thank you for showing me this,” Leia says. “I needed to see… to see my son.”

“I need him too,” Rey whispers as she leaves.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was OVERWHELMED by all the nice comments on this fic. Thank you so much, you guys. Here's the second chapter y'all asked for.

Most of the time, when the bond activates, Rey and Ben ignore each other until it breaks. Occasionally, they’ll talk about shallow and pointless topics, just to break a little of the tension. On rare occasions, they’re both tired and snappish, and end up arguing until one of them gives up and walks away. If they’re being completely honest, nothing much constructive gets done. 

Normally, the bond seems to activate with little rhyme or reason to it. But tonight, with Ben on her mind so much already, she should have expected that this would happen. 

She just wishes he wasn’t lying in her bed. 

He’s not sleeping. Rey’s not sure she’s ever seen him sleep, except when he was knocked out by the lightsaber explosion. Now, he is lying fully dressed on the bed, hands clasped over his stomach, staring pensively at the ceiling. 

“Get out of my bed,” Rey snaps. 

Ben slowly turns his neck towards her. “You know, from my perspective, it’s my bed.”

Rey purses her lips. She couldn’t deny that. “I think I get priority since I’m actually going to sleep in mine.”

He rolls the rest of his body over to face her. “You think I don’t?”

“I’ve never seen you sleep,” she mutters. “And you always look tired.”

“I don’t sleep much,” he admits. “Too much work and not enough trust in the people here.”

Rey sits down on the edge of the bed and starts unlacing her boots. “Sounds lovely.”

He sits up all the way now. “Why are you angry with me?” 

Rey sighs. “I’m not angry. I’m just tired.” She begins taking her hair down. She can’t undress so long as the bond is active, but she can at least make herself more comfortable. 

He lies back down and lets silence fill the room. Rey starts to undo the utility belt around her waist. 

“I assume you didn’t see the press event yesterday-”

Rey bristles. Why would he mention that? Why would he assume that? What is he going to say?

“Phasing out the stormtroopers is just a start. I promised you I’d build something new,” he says quietly. “Even if I have to do it alone.”

If this was meant to draw on Rey’s pity, it certainly does, and a sense of guilt washes over her. “It’s still the First Order,” she says quietly.

“I have to please the loyalists. Like Hux,” he replies. “Next we’ll be outlawing slavery in all occupied areas. No more little girls who have to scavenge to eat.”

All her normal defenses- _don’t let him make you feel guilty, don’t be sympathetic, you gave him a chance_ \- are failing. It’s all so genuine, the desire for improvement, for change, and the work to convince her that he is worth her time. 

She takes off her tunic, stripping down to her pants and an undershirt, and lies down on the bed next to him. Mirroring his position, she clasps her hands over her stomach and stares up at the ceiling. 

“Our postwar priorities will be restructuring the government, compiling a constitution, maybe a legisla-”

“Ben,” she interrupts. She usually avoids addressing him by name, since both names feel a little wrong one way or another. But somehow, this feels right. “I’m not a council. Please just talk to me, like a person.”

He looks flustered. “Sorry.”

Rey searches her mind for something to say to him. She has a lot of _thoughts_ , but no actual _words_.

“I did watch your speech,” she says finally. “How did you know what to do? With the baby?”

“When I was younger, my mother took me to a few political events. All the adults were busy, so I got a few babies pushed onto me. I got used to them. When that one started crying, it was just… instinct.” 

Rey starts giggling.

“What?” Ben demands. 

“Just thinking about… little ten-year-old Ben with a bunch of screaming babies.” She tries to calm herself down, but the mental image is undeniably funny. 

He sighs, but betrays himself with a slight smile. “It wasn’t funny at the time, believe me.”

“Where did the baby come from, anyways?”

“She is the daughter of a First Order mechanic, who couldn’t find anyone to take her while she was away.” 

Having felt friendly a moment ago, Rey bristles again. “You met her?”

“Briefly. She was given a raise, and we are restructuring benefits for working parents.”

“Hm.”

Ben frowns, trying to process her standoffishness. “Are you _jealous?_ ” he asks finally. 

She sits up. “Jealous? Why would I be jealous?!” Rey blurts out defensively. 

He props himself up on his hands. “I don’t know! You just seemed…”

She eases herself back down onto the bed, and he follows suit. “Maybe I was a little jealous,” she admits finally. “It just got me thinking about- you looked so _natural_ holding a baby-” It’s all coming out in a rush now, and she can’t control her spiraling thoughts. “I miss you,” is what ends up coming out. “I miss you and I want to talk to you the way we talked on Ach-To. I was jealous because I’ve always wanted kids, and seeing you with someone else’s…”

“Rey,” he says, and she forgot how much she likes it when he says her name. “Rey are you saying…”

He moves close, close enough that she should feel uncomfortable, but she doesn’t. His face is a teasing smile that is rare but oddly fitting for him. “A baby, Rey? That’s what made you jealous?”

“Ben…” She coils her fingers around his.

“I just wish you’d said any of this sooner,” her murmurs, barely an inch away now. “I would have found _much_ better ways to make you jealous.”

“ _Shut up,_ ” she laughs. “I mean it.”

He bends over and presses their foreheads together. “Now I’ll never let you live this-”

Apparently Ben is not going to shut up if she asks politely, so she takes matters into her own hands. 

Rey rolls over, and pins Ben underneath her. 

_”Shut up,”_ she whispers, before doing it herself with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it soft enough? Thanks so much for reading!


	3. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the conclusion of the oneshot that became a twoshot that evidently demanded an epilogue. Thank you for all the support <3

Rey bounces her daughter nervously as she and Ben prepare to speak to the gathered leaders of the galaxy. 

“Are you sure you don’t want someone else to hold her?”

Rey shakes her head. “You know she hates that. She’s very suspicious.” She looks down at the girl. “Just stay quiet for five minutes, sweetie, OK?” 

Ben ruffles the hair of his daughter, one of the fussiest babies he’s ever known. “We can pray.”

“Ben!” Rey chides. “You’ll be good, won’t you Padmé?” 

A woman swoops in and quickly dusts her face with makeup, while a second woman combs away some flyaway hairs, before they are pushed into the wings. 

If it were up to Rey, she would not be here at all: while she’s been told she speaks well and is charming on camera, the attention makes her uncomfortable. But fortunately or unfortunately for her, the star-crossed and _vastly_ overpublicized love story of the Supreme Leader and the Last Jedi has become a symbol of peace and unity for the galaxy. And someone decided they were the best speakers to mark this occasion. 

Ben kisses her quickly ‘for luck’ as they are rushed on stage- just as Padmé starts to stir. 

_”Ben, she’s waking up,”_ Rey hisses, turning aside her mic.

_”Just five minutes,”_ he hisses back. 

“Today the galaxy celebrates two years of peace. Today Rey and I celebrate two years of marriage,” Ben begins, just as Padmé releases her first dissatisfied whine.

Rey reaches underneath her waistband to switch off the mic. “Shh,” she whispers to the baby. She turns the girl’s head away from the crowd; all the people can make her jittery. “Go back to sleep, babygirl. 

Rey misses her speech cue, but Ben picks it up for her as she continues her futile attempts to calm their daughter. 

_Five minutes. All I asked for was five minutes._

Finally, Padmé’s cries reach a crescendo that cannot be ignored, and nothing Rey attempts will soothe her. She is about to leave the stage and abandon Ben to finish, when her husband takes their daughter into his arms, holding her and bouncing her until she falls back asleep. 

They finish the speech and quickly retreat backstage with the baby. 

“How do you _do_ that?” Rey demands. “This isn’t some weird Force thing, is it?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Darkside parenting powers? No.”

“I have _never_ seen a baby you couldn’t get to stop crying,” Rey says. “And you’re telling me you don’t have special powers?”

“I have a way with children. Are you jealous?”

Rey kisses him quickly. “I could never be jealous of _our_ baby.”

“Rey, if you’re still bitter about two- no, three- years ago-”

Rey nuzzles his cheek. “I got over that a while ago, sweetheart. In a way, we owe that whiny little baby a favor.”

He kisses her on the forehead. “For making you jealous enough to talk to me?”

“Sure.”

Padmé is now upset by the lack of attention she is being given, and begins to cry again. 

Ben passes her back to Rey. “Your turn,” he whispers with a wink.


End file.
